April 27,1964, Thursday. I have to lose 5 lbs by next week.

Was so windy, I felt sick and almost threw up in first period. But I ate a whole bunch and felt better. After school my sister Donna and I had to go to Modeling School. It was during the bad traffic hour and took an hour and a half to get to Pasadena from Culver City. I was so mad. The class was fun and I really enjoyed it a lot. During the figure part we got weighed and measured. I couldn’t believe I weighed 125 lbs at 5’4”. I usually only weigh 115 lbs. The instructor told me I had to lose 5 lbs, mostly in my hips. I can’t wait, we got a bunch of exercises to do and I’m starting tomorrow. Dave K called and I told him about my 8 year old sister Billee’s, little boyfriend, who calls her on the phone. He laughed. He wants me to fix Jack up with one of my friends. Bonnie maybe.

It started off with 5 lbs

and having perfect measurements, 

Patricia Stevens Modeling School set me on the road to Anorexic behavior.  For the rest of my life my self worth was measured by how thin I was.  How in control of my food I could be.  How small a dress size I could get into.  It wasn’t about a guy liking me for myself anymore, it was about how sexy I looked and how I could use that to control everything and everyone in my life. 12 step programs helped me get my life back in my 40’s.

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