May 3, 1964, Sunday. I hated the Mountains. So glad to come home.
Everyone but my sister Donna and I got up for Church. I just wanted to be left alone and wanted to go home. They all left and I got up. My eyes were so swollen I couldn’t open them. I made the beds and washed the dishes while Donna packed the car. I felt sorta bad for spoiling my family’s fun. I don’t know why I hate to go on trips with them. But my feelings were crushed because I couldn’t go out with Dave K. and was forced to come up here to Big Bear Mountains- then got sick…. It was a boring day, just sat in the cabin. Got home at 7:00. Bonnie called. Dave K went to the Mardi Gras last night, everyone was sad I couldn’t come to the party.
I felt guilty and was sorry for being so terrible to my parents and ruining their trip to the Mountains. So I changed my attitude and had everything clean and ready to go home when they got back .
I did the dishes, while Donna packed the car. It was actually therapeutic having to slow down, be quiet and and think about someone besides my Narcissistic self for once. I realized I was wrong… I was sorry for being such a brat…and I believed actions spoke louder than words.
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