October 18, Sunday. Shelia’s baby is Baptized.

Pearl spent the night and stayed today until we had to leave and go to Shelia’s baby’s Baptism. Mommy is the Godmother. The baby is so darling, it almost makes me want to get married and have a baby. But, I don’t think I’ll ever get married, because I can’t find anyone. All the boy’s I’ve dated don’t get along with me for very long. I’d give anything to have Byron. I think I could like Dave again and I’ll probably wind up wit Howard. After the Baptism there was a reception, then we just came home. I called Nana, she’s acting terrible because we took our sewing machine back. She won’t talk to Mommy and she wanted me to stay all night with her.

I’m 17 years old and I’m thinking it would be fun to be married and have a baby, because today a the Baptism, everything looks so idealistic.  In the long run, I know it wouldn’t be what I want…..it looks like it would give me purpose and direction… but to where? I can’t imagine.

My Mother and Nana were always fighting about something and Nana usually wanted me to side with her against my Mom.  That’s why she wanted me to spend the night with her, so she could get beat my Mom up.  I just didn’t want to have to hear it one more time, so I made an excuse and didn’t go.  After all, today my Mom was made Godmother, it was her special day and I didn’t want to have Nana ruin it. 

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