August 8, 1964, Saturday. Went out with Howard and broke my promise to boys. (He’s an Animal)

Stayed home all day. Didn’t know if Howard was kidding or not. Didn’t want to go out with him so didn’t plan on it. Pearl and I decided to go to the show. But at 7:30 he came to the door with Doug.  I was real mad and not ready at all. He started to act like he owned me. On the way to Palisades to pickup Doug’s girl, Howard sang all our songs to me. I acted too dumb. We went to the show, but it was sold out, so we went to the Flying Jib at Toes. Everyone’s eyes bugged out to see us together again. I started flirting with a cute boy, but Howard pulled me away and we went miniature golfing. They called me dumb-dumb, because I got the worse score. We went to Denny’s… We parked and Howard got so wild I couldn’t get away.

Parking was part of dating.  I wasn’t in love with Howard anymore, but that didn’t matter, because dating meant making-out and making-out meant getting hooked in the game again.  Howard was poison to me, but once the control started, it was hard not being under his control. Because,           “Control meant Love.”

Frank Sinatra – I’ve got you under my skin

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